Port Carla

[Terry England]

Originally Posted by Snookerd

Those dang Sailfish guys are out there.

J. Covington Howell here, I hope I have reached the appropriate site for this inquiry. Recently, after a rousing polo game at Naples Downs on Saturday, January 4, my most impetuous Fraternity Brothers from Princeton, Grant Sandburg, and R. James Wainwright both insisted that we celebrate our victorty over Rob Roys at Useppa Island. After borrowing Grant's uncle's gun metal gray truck (an actual pick up truck like one of our gardeners would use) So rather than the three of us squeeezing into my M-3, we belted ourselves into this brutish steed of a vehicle. (I had no idea that Honda built trucks). Then after driving through several quaint fishing villages with common tourists wandering about, we arrived at a marina where the boat was stored in some sort of vertical filing system. There was a boat ramp for the common boaters at the site where several ruffians and undesirables were standing about. Then his beast of a vehicle literally carried Grant's uncle's boat and placed it ever so carefully in the water, just before us. It was a beauitiful seafoam green craft, highlighted with accenting dark green canvas and matching canvas covered fenders proudly displayed in stainless steel baskets attached to the bow rails. This was a truly exquisite boat of the highest quality with the name "Sailfish" emblaisened on the stern quarter. On the transom of this wondrous Aquatic Steed was a truly dramatic shimmering silver outboard motor of gigantic proportions similar to that of a major kitchen appliance. In bold letters across the back of it was proudly inscribed 130 (I had no idea Honda built outboard motors)

After a short run over to Useppa and a delightful afternoon of reliving the highlights of our exciting and extremely stressful polo game and enjoying
the company of my fraternity brothers we started back across the Pine Island Sound. Apparently, the libations caused Grant to veer slightly out of the channel and we abruptly ran aground causing all sorts of havoc and casting things about.
Several boats passed by as we waived frantically for assistance. Finally, a very old, rust stained boat, after initially passing by us and preforming some sort of one finger nautical salute, turned around and came up along side our helplessly marooned vessel. A rather rotund fellow with a three day stubble, dressed in a flannel shirt with cut off coveralls and white rubber boots then asked "Did you fellers run out of water?" Grant retorted that "No we had a case of Pierre, but that we seem to have run aground, somehow and that now we couldn't get our engine to start". His boat, although similar in profile to the beautiful Sailfish of Grant's uncle, had nets and fishing gear of all sorts and wood crates with all species of sea life wiggling, withering and squirming about and the interior surface appeared to be some kind of organic blue-green reptilian finish, of which I had never witnessed, even as a Biology Minor. His engine coughed and wheezed and emitted a noxious cloud which hung about the general area. I am certain that this individual carried lineage directly from some blackhearted scalawag, and not the true blue bloods of my heritage, but we were at his mercy. After passing us a tow line he pulled us back to the marina through a continuous haze of smoke produced by his antique outboard motor. After he secured us at the marina dock we attempted to pay this hapless soul for his kindness but he refused saying "I thought you waz a Seacraft. If you put it in neutral the key will work but there just weren't no sense in leavin ya' out there like some kind of flotsam or jetsam". He did say that there was some type of Sea Craft (which I suppose is some kind of an inexpensive copy of the Sailfish)
Extravaganza in May over on the Gold Coast and I was hoping to get more information about this event. He said to query someone known as "Pooh Bah". Hopefully, I'm at the correct website.
Thank you, in advance for you direction in this matter,
J. Covington Howell III

[NoBones]

Admin. please flag as spam.......

Those dad-gummed Cosmonauts have struck again!

[gofastsandman]

And folks think I am ADD???

[Islandtrader]

This thread has now officially gone over the edge...Please kill it before it keeps on spreading...LOL

[gofastsandman]

[QUOTE=Islandtrader;224097]This thread has now officially gone over the edge...Please kill it before it keeps on spreading...

It is getting cold here and my brain is the size of a
chestnut.

[Terry England]

Originally Posted by NoBones

Admin. please flag as spam.......

Dear Mr, Pooh Bah / No Bones,
Thank you so, so much for responding to my recent inquiry regarding the May Sailfish Extravaganza at Long Point. After our narrowly escaping certain death at our last yachting experience at Charlotte Harbor and meeting your most colorful associate who towed us to safety, we thought this might be an opportunity for Grant, Rob and I to experience this enchanting Earl Flynn-like life that you and your swashbuckling friends live. However, just to make certain we don't have any issues when we arrive in Rob's father's 55' Motor Coach I have a couple of questions -
1) Is there separate lodging near the site for our driver?
2) Are those exotic Sailfish power boats available for rent?
3) Does the Tiki Bar at Port Carla accept Master Card?
4) Will boats with the words Sea Craft written in cursive be excluded due
to their extremely old age?
5) Can Don V make a Rob Roy with elixir?
6) What time does the "Hot Beach Yoga with Snookerd" class start?
7) Typically, how much are Spanglish lessons with Sandy?
If you would kindly respond to my personal secretary, Ms. Wanda Wiggins at this e-mail address, I'm sure we can finalize our plans.
Regards, J. Covington Howell III

[Fr. Frank]

Originally Posted by Terry England

"Should I get a Mauve colored one or just a white on ...I'm think'in it would look pretty dang snappy go'in along with them white boots and cut off coveralls I usually wear.

First of all, when'd you find time to buy yourself a pair of those white Homosassa Nike's, what with only 2 hours of daylight and all?

Second, right now West Marine's got mens shirts for the fashion-conscious boater in colors like "Nasturtium", and "Cantaloupe", and "Mango". They're Clearance priced, no less. And down here, you can even wear them to church.

You'll blend right in with the other weather refugees....uh, I mean Winter Visitors.

[DonV]

5) Can Don V make a Rob Roy with elixir?

What's a Rob Roy? One of those foo-foo drinks? I'm not too much in to "making" anything with the elixir, we just "make" the effort to take off the lid and drink.

[sidelock]

Terry, someone should have warned you that its very dangerous to stand close behind those polo steeds even with those funny hard hats you all wear, but you probably don't remember what happened anyhoooo.

[NoBones]

Very happy to respond to your recent inquiry Mr. Howell
(by chance any relation to Thurston Howell III ?)

LP limits coach size at 45'
Plenty of room in the beast though!





1) Is there separate lodging near the site for our driver? Yes site 201 tent
2) Are those exotic Sailfish power boats available for rent? NO only Kayaks
3) Does the Tiki Bar at Port Carla accept Master Card? Amex Black
4) Will boats with the words Sea Craft written in cursive be excluded due
to their extremely old age? No, but they have to be Stainless Emblems
5) Can Don V make a Rob Roy with elixir?
Maybe?, Only with Bruichladdich and a maraschino cherry
6) What time does the "Hot Beach Yoga with Snookerd" class start?
5 AM sharp (spandex attire required)
7) Typically, how much are Spanglish lessons with Sandy? Free after Kazoo class though

Hopefully this clears up any concerns you may have as to our upcoming
bi-annual Florida event!

Ta ta for now.......